Keeping Sex Fun

Are you ready to really tell your lover what you want to do to him or her, but you're scared you'll blush and ruin the whole thing? Why do you think telephones were invented?

There's nothing safer to start with than using somebody else's words. If you're not ready to tell your partner your fantasies yourself, invest in an erotic book and try reading your lover a story at bedtime. We'd suggest getting a collection of stories like The Erotic Edge or Delta of Venus.

This is when you start talking dirty. One note, by the way: when you're talking about sexual acts with your partner in bed, you should use the words that will really turn you both on. If more hard-core words for sexual acts get you going, use those. But if softer descriptions are more comfortable, stick to those. There are four ways to go here:

Yoga and sex have more in common than just the old joke about being flexible enough to get into “wacky” positions. Both use the body to excite and soothe, and both have the potential to open our minds and spirits to enlightenment. As a sexologist and yoga teacher, I have seen the positive effects that regular yoga practice can have on a sexual relationship. There are individual physical rewards to practice as well as rewards to be reaped in a coupled relationship.

Part of being an adult is accepting responsibility for your own sexual pleasure. Our bodies are all different, our pleasure triggers are different, and our preferences are different. Some women love to be touched on their breasts and others don't. So obviously, any advice offered here is from my personal view - other girls may have entirely different ideas, and I cannot claim responsibility if your woman doesn't like the same things as I do.

Tantra is not goal oriented. Tantra is a process of aligning your own energies and then intermingling them with another. Therefore, sex need not be a linear process – one step leading to the next, culminating in orgasm. Granted, orgasms are wonderful experiences but if that’s the only reason you’re having sex you might be missing a few things in the process. When most people think of the term foreplay they get caught up in this type of linear thought. The name says it all; foreplay is "before" the main event.