No one is quite sure if the intention of attracting a woman is, in fact, and art or a science or a metaphysical crap shoot. The day someone writes the definitive volume on that subject will be the day Dan Brown surrenders his title as the best selling author of all time for a single title. So until that happens, we are left to wade through the vast netherworld of the oeuvre of wisdom pertaining to women and what they want – to this day nobody with a penis is quite sure – and hope to stumble across some clue as to what gets their attention, and why. We can generalize, but take caution, because just when you think you know what they want, a curveball of Nolan Ryan proportions comes your way.

Here’s what we suspect.

Women like men with swagger. They like confidence, something just short of cockiness. The prettier they are, the more they like it. This makes sense, since the age-old equation of “like for like” has stood the test of time in the sexual wars. But herein resides the first of the great sexual traps. Because the second the cock in your walk exceeds the proof in your pudding, you’re toast. You instantly go from confident to a blowhard who is too full of yourself, and then you’re history. Because the one thing they want more than a puffed up chest is to tell their girlfriends that you’re the real deal. So go with caution, my brothers, because you’ll be tested as time marches on. As that bald C.O. said to Tom Cruise in Top Gun, make sure your ego is writing checks your body can actually cash.

The drug of choice for most women is testosterone. But don’t get too excited, because it’s just an illusion. They want the appearance and facade of macho, delivered with some element of class, but they want nothing even close to macho in the man behind the goalie mask. In other words, they want you to emulate their father, they want you to fish and hunt and smoke cigars and be the center of attention at a party, maybe be able to tune up their car on weekends, but they want none of their father’s bullshit, his misogynistic ways, his inability to spell the word romance, his bull-in-heat sexual sensibilities – you better freaking know how to give her an orgasm – and his demand to have dinner on the table by six. That guy is soooo not getting laid. Today’s woman wants George Clooney way more than she wants Bruce Willis. The good news is that Clooney is very much a man’s man – Willis could still kick his ass, but that’s not the point – but pay close attention, because you won’t find a copy of Hustler anywhere in his limo. We’re just sayin’.

It’s no secret that women like a guy who has money. And while certainly a few of them are card carrying gold diggers, for the most part what they really want is a guy who flashes cash as a consequence of who he is. They want success more than they want money, which means they’d take a guy who could solve the world hunger problem before they’d take a bond trader from Goldman Sachs any day. Unless, of course, she really is a gold digger after all, in which case you shouldn’t waste your time.

Here’s the best advice that bond trader’s money can buy. Just be yourself. Or better, be the best yourself that you can be, in all ways. Look closely at the trappings of manhood that no longer work and cast them aside, and just be real. Confident and real, strong yet tender, ambitious yet not self-centered. And for God’s sake, lose that double-standard. In short, be George Clooney. The more you can see the world from a woman’s point of view, without completely letting go of your inner linebacker, the more women will want you. Money, clothes, cars, great taste, and an attitude that says you don’t really give a shit… yeah, that all works, no doubt about it. But a solid core trumps it all, and ironically, it’s a solid core that’ll not only attract the woman of your dreams, but the trappings of success that will catch her eye, as well.