When you bite off a topic as broad and eternal as attracting someone of the opposite sex, you better have something new to say. Because there has been nothing more debated, written about and stressed since the invention of the loincloth, and to this day nobody has written a once-and-for-all definitive volume on the subject. With all these cards already on the table, the best any of us can do is to try to find a combination of factors that make sense, since so little about sexual attraction has ever made sense in the first place. Toward that end, we humbly offer one thing over which you have at least some control, something that either positions you as attractive to the male gender, as invisible or as someone they’d walk around the industrial center to avoid. There are certainly more variables involved in attracting a man than there are penises on the planet, but this categorical biggie can define whether he’ll take a second look in your direction, or not. And as every woman knows, it’s that second look that makes the difference.
It should be noted, however, that attracting a man and keeping a man are related but separate issues. What gets him into your bed may or may not keep him on the title to your house and car. When it comes to keeping a man, there are several other major variables that come into play, like your vision for your life and how you handle conflict. But first things first. Let’s get him hooked before we talk about hauling him into the boat.
Men are simple creatures. Woman have understood this for several millennia, but only recently has society permitted an overt manipulation of this knowledge to their advantage. Of the primary variables involved with sexual attraction, there is a single, overwhelming and often primary issue that will define your chances: sexual chemistry. You either have it with a specific man, or you don’t. If you don’t, that doesn’t mean you’re out of the running, it just means you’ll have to score a 10 in the other areas, and you may have to do it quickly. Remember, this is about attracting him, and it may take more than a good look at your calves for it to happen.
What is sexual chemistry? It is the sum of the visual, social and cultural expression of yourself that triggers a man’s unique process of interpreting what he sees and assigning value to it. Beauty? Of course, nearly all men appreciate it, at least in some form. But do they all desire it in a woman? Don’t be too quick to generalize. Because while it’s indeed easy to generalize, bear in mind that one man’s candy is another’s toothache, so not every cliché of beauty and femininity applies. The list of the things that make a woman beautiful and sexy is long and arduous – it can be your clothing, your job, your car, your friends, your hobbies, even what you eat and drink, and perhaps most importantly, what you say and how you say it – but there is a contextual truth that puts each and every entry on that list into an interesting perspective, one largely ignored in the oeuvre of literature about seduction. It is that a woman who understands what kind of man she seeks to attract has orders of magnitude more success than a woman who is seeking to attract any kind of man.
Read that again. It’s all about knowing what you want. Or perhaps even better – no, certainly even better – knowing who you are, so that the woman the world sees will attract a man who is naturally compatible with her world view and the vision of her life. True attraction is more than having a man noticing you, it’s about him wanting you, for reasons he may not understand. And for that to happen, he has to sense more than your beauty from the moment he lays eyes on you. He has to sense the chemistry of his attraction to you. And chemistry is nothing more than how you carry yourself.
This bottom line simplifies what is perhaps the most fundamental truth in all the universe when it comes to attracting a man. Be who you are, and make yourself the best you that you can be. Men are attracted to women who are confident in a way they instinctively know will be compatible to who they are, women who are so free of agenda that they can laugh and give and perhaps share secrets that they themselves might harbor. The more secure with yourself you are, the more secure the man who will be drawn to you.
When a woman carries herself through the world with this demeanor, the right man will notice, sooner or later, every time.