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Lying about virginity question. Virginity answers, advice and sexual information.

Relationships  Advice

I am writing this letter to ask one simple question. I have been seeing my girlfriend for nine months, and we are madly in love. We think we are made for each other. She will soon be 19, and I am 24. She has had sexual relationships in the past, and I haven't. I know that sounds silly in this day and age, but it's the truth.

There is nothing wrong with me. I grew up in a rotten home situation and never wanted one night stands. It's just not me. There was no love in my family, so love is the most important thing to me, not sex. My girlfriend told me about her previous sexual encounters, the first with an older man who took advantage of her. She said she never enjoyed it. Mostly she just waited for it to be over.

I haven't told her I am a virgin. In fact, I told her I had numerous one night stands with women I barely know. I read a lot on the Internet and watch Oprah (you are free to laugh), so I sound like I am the most experienced guy in the world sexually.

My girl wants to know how my previous sexual encounters came about, and if I still run into those women. She's afraid I will bump into one of them, go out for coffee, and jump into bed for old time's sake. Should I tell her my little secret? How can a guy explain such a thing? Please tell me something that will boost my confidence.

- Trevor

Trevor, you have been waiting for the one person who would be right for you. This is nothing to be embarrassed about, it just wasn't time. There are other men in exactly your situation.

Out of embarrassment, you lied. Now you are suffering the natural consequences of lying. Your lie needs more lies. You cannot move forward together with a lie between you. Your girlfriend wants to know more about your past because of what you told her. Your lie made her feel vulnerable, and she is expecting the worst.

You are still new enough to each other that you can get this fixed. You are not a hurtful person. Lying isn't like you. Tell her the truth and regain your integrity. Integrity means acting based on what you think, not on what you think others will think.

—Content from











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