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Husband cheated question, answers and sex advice.

Relationships  Advice

Three years ago my husband cheated and confessed to me face-to-face, he had an affair with a friend of mine. It hurt me so bad, but after days of him apologizing, saying how much he loved me and what a mistake he made, I took him back.

Now he is controlling me. He doesn't like me to sit and talk with my friends, or play cards with them. He wants me to stay here at home under him. He doesn't trust me, though I never gave him reason to doubt me.

I believe he's afraid I am going to get revenge on him. I've asked him, but of course he denies it. He goes hunting and camping while I stay home with the kids, but when I want to go out, he blows up. When I reminded him I stay home so he can go out, he said he won't hunt or camp again.

I have suggested separating for awhile and see if time apart improves things. He said if I leave, that's it. Now I feel I need to stay home and go nowhere just to keep him satisfied. He even gets mad if I go to my mother's. Please help.

- Millicent

Millicent, cheaters believe others cheat. Liars believe others lie. Thieves believe others steal. Your husband thinks, "She's no better than I am. If I could cheat, she could too."

Every day that goes by, his fear builds. He is thinking, "If she gets away from me, she'll get even with me, and I won't even know for sure she did it." He knows he would never forgive you what you forgave him.

The guilty party is in control here, and he doesn't have the right. He is acting like a jailer, and you are innocent of all crimes. You may feel separation will give you more standing in your relationship. If you want to exercise that option, don't let his threat stop you.

Many books have been written about how to get past infidelity, but our experience is that cheating always remains central to the relationship. How do you uncrack an egg? The answer is: you don't.

—Content from











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