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Orgasm and Urination Sex Advice

Female Masturbation  Advice

I've been with my boyfriend for five years and have been intimate with him for most of the five. I have never achieved orgasm during sexual intercourse with him, except when he penetrates me while I am humping a pillow (and I really attribute the orgasm to humping the pillow, not his penetration). I have been masturbating with a pillow since I was little. I usually lubricate and proceed to hump the pillow. Doing this, I can cum very quickly.

I used to not have any problems not cumming in the bedroom with him because I knew how to satisfy myself at home, but I would LOVE to have an orgasm through regular intercourse. Besides all that, when I try to masturbate with my fingers I feel like urinating and usually do. I feel like I can't achieve orgasm through the fingering because I always have to pee (I've tried relieving myself beforehand and have had no luck). I feel like I can't take the direct clitoral contact. I can hump something soft like my pillow), but can't have my clit fingered. My boyfriend is so loving and caring and tries so hard. He's willing to try everything and anything. We try oral sex usually every time, but I can't seem to orgasm that way either. We've purchased and used vibrators and those are way too strong for my sensitive clit, I feel like peeing and then it makes it sore. We're really getting frustrated and will try ANYTHING. So basically, why do I always feel like urinating when my clitoris is directly stimulated (finger wise), what can I do about that? Besides the masturbation ideas listed in the advice area (to which you can add my pillow humping if you like), what other things do you suggest? What are you thoughts on stimulating gels, like gogirl and vigorelle? Would they help in any way? Do they work? Please help in any way you can. It would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

- Anne

I am almost certain that what you are describing is that you are capable of female ejaculation. If this is the case, you are very lucky as it can add so much to your sex life in so many ways.

Your g spot, which is the source of the ejaculate, is also called the urethral sponge. This area swells with fluid as you get aroused. The urethral sponge surrounds the urethra near the opening and is also connected to the bladder which is why you feel the need to urinate when you get aroused. The solution to this is to be able to relax and "let go" and orgasm while letting yourself have this release.

This may take some practice, but once you learn to let go you will have very intense orgasms. Usually these are more intense than a normal orgasm because you get the release also. It's hard to describe, but you'll feel the difference.

In case you're wondering, the fluid released is most likely not urination. There may be a trace amount in it because it does share the urethra with the bladder and the muscles are contracting down there, but overall it is not urination. If you're still unsure, you can smell it after release and you should notice the absence, or near absence, of typical urine odor. If you're still unsure after that, try taking a multi vitamin in the morning and urinating before you masturbate. It should be bright yellow. Then have your orgasm and ejaculation and you'll notice that it's clear or nearly clear. Next time you urinate it should be bright yellow again. If you try this test and find out that you really are peeing during orgasm, you should consult a doctor.

I am also a woman capable of female ejaculation and I can tell you that once your get over your worries about it, you're going to have a blast.

Please read the following articles I wrote on the subject and you'll find a lot more information on female ejaculation: Female Ejaculation and Female Masturbation.

Hopefully this knowledge should be all you need to give you happy and orgasmic relationships. As far as products like gogirl and Vigorelle are concerned, they're probably not for you because they're designed to heighten sensitivity, and you're already plenty sensitive. If anything, you might want to try techniques to reduce sensitivity. Vibrators, for example, can be used over top of a layer of cloth, which in your case might reduce their vibrations enough to be pleasurable instead of painful.

There's also a chance that you've become dependent on the pillow-humping method. If someone uses the exact same masturbation technique over a long period of time, they can become so accustomed to it that they have trouble reaching orgasm using other methods. (For example, it's common for men who only masturbate lying on their backs to be unable to orgasm during their first attempts in the missionary position.) The good news is, in a case like this the solution is variety. As you try different sex positions and methods, you're likely to start to find the others more enjoyable and have better success with orgasm.

Urination and orgasm content provided by —Abby











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